The Restless and the Broken Hearted
by Designated Writer
Summary: The night Niles reveals to Daphne how he feels about her. Note: Takes place during “Something Borrowed, Someone Blue” part II (season 7)Complete!


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A/N: My story starts with the balcony scene from "Something Borrowed, Someone Blue" part 2 from season 7. What follows is what I feel were two important "missing scenes" from that episode. With one scene devoted to each, they focus on what Niles and Daphne is thinking/feeling etc. during and immediately following their balcony scene.

So, without further ado…

The Restless and the Broken Hearted

Let Me Be the One to Love You More

"No, Daphne, I'm glad he told me because, I love you." I breathlessly confess after seven long years.

Moments later…

"Oh, for God's sake, Dr. Crane!" I threw myself at him and into his welcoming arms and embrace. I kiss him deeply and I kiss him like I had never kissed any man.

Hating to break off the kiss, just in case I was dreaming. But if I really wasn't dreaming, my knees were about to buckle. And again for the second time within minutes, I felt faint from the lack of oxygen reaching my lungs. I slowly break off from her and nervously inform her,

"I think you can call me "Niles" now."

Taking in a few small wisps of air to sustain me before going in again, I lean into her and I kiss her again. The moment we make a reconnection, I am convinced that this is no longer a dream. I allow myself to get lost in the kiss…the moment…

Then reality reared its ugly head.

I bring my hands down and push him back from me. I love him, yes, I admit that, but I love Donny too and this was wrong. I shook my head and pray with all my heart that he will understand.

"No. I don't think I can. I do love you, but I can't do this." I explain as gentle as I could.

Whew. I said it. It was by far the hardest thing I ever said, even harder then telling him I loved him in the first place.

His eyes. How I have always loved those blue eyes. They were brimming with unshed tears. I've hurt him, and I've hurt him badly.

"Wh-, whe-, uh..." I stammer. For her proclamation totally took me off guard. I take a couple more deep breaths before pleading, defending my, our, case and for the love we share.

"I know it will be difficult, but I will get a divorce, and you can call off the wedding." I start as my opening statement.

Damn! I knew he was hurt, but this is completely crazy. I have to stop this bloody nonsense before it goes any further. I counter as my rebuttal.

"I can't! Donny is a dear and wonderful man, and I made a promise to him. And Mel! You made more than a promise to her! And we're supposed to forget that? And for what? We have no idea how we'd be together. For heaven's sake, we've never even been on a date."

I've spent too many wasted years, waiting for my dream to finally come true. And now that it has, I'm not going to let it turn into a nightmareat least not without a fight or this quickly. I choose this time to speak from experience, from my heart.

"Daphne, take it from someone who knows: you don't want to spend half your life thinking about a chance you didn't take."

I love him. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, I think. But no, I can't do this. I don't want to break his heart, but I can't break Donny's either. I will tell him and that will be it. For both our sakes, I can't drag this out my much longer or I know we will do something we both regret and something for which I could never forgive myself for. Finally, and regrettably I tell him.

"I'm sorry. My mind's made up. I think we should say good night now."

There is so much more I want to say, but sadly, like everything else when it came to Daphne, it, I, was too late. Ever the gentleman, I want her to leave with her dignity in tact. As for mine, I had already lost it to Maris in the divorce.

"Good night, Daphne." I muster with sad resolution in my voice.

To my shock, he relents and I see him in a new light. I think more anyone I have ever met he was accustomed to defeat. Having spent all those years with Mrs. Crane must have taught him that. How sad. My heart broke for him.

I look into his eyes once more.

Though they are pained and hurt, they still speak of an unspoken pleading for me to reconsider. I'm so very sorry Niles. I'll never get to call you that, but in my dreams. It would have been fun to say at least once, but, no, we have to make things right. We have to go back to the way things were 10 minutes prior.

"Good night, Dr. Crane."

The Restless…

I shift restlessly in the king-sized bed I am sharing with Donny Douglas, my soon to be husband in a little less than twelve more hours. Thankfully, Donny was fast asleep, and unaware of his bride-to-be's insomnia.

Insomnia. I thought to me self and inwardly chuckle, if it were only that simple. Our wedding guests would excuse my sleeplessness as just "wedding jitters". But that too, would be far too simple.

Quit kidding yourself, I continue the conversation with my conscience, you know bloody hell why you can't sleep. And it has nothing at all to do with insomnia OR wedding jitters.

It was because I told him. Niles. How wonderful it was to finally say his name. Even though I never actually did say it, and never will again, only in my dreams and daydreams. After seven years…anyway, you told him no, and that you didn't think you could do it, even though you do love him.

I glance over at the man snoring beside me, the man I am going to devote the rest of my life to. I was right when I told Niles, Dr. Crane, I mentally corrected, that Donny was, I mean, is a "dear and wonderful man."

But, unfortunately, what I didn't tell Dr. Crane out on the balcony was that he too, shared those wonderful qualities, along with some others, uniquely his, and his alone.

Things in years past that I had dismissed as "pretentious" (like his love of wine and opera, for example), to his being an uncontrollable "clean freak" (dusting down his chair in Nervosa, who did such silly things?), were now things I could live with it and find utterly adorable, respectively.

But it is his little boy, starving for love and attention, and his vulnerability-that I find so appealing.

The side I had a feeling not many others see since his wall is so high and so heavily guarded.

Being in the position that I was-living under Dr. Crane's roof for all those years, I got to witness first-hand the games Maris, Mrs. Crane, played and inflicted on him. How her constant and unreasonable demands she placed on him stripped away all his confidence. How she would neglect him and placed all her needs before his. How he would let her have his way with him. She had toyed with him and his emotions so much he was hardly the man Dr. Crane and Mr. Crane once knew.

It brought a tear to me eye. Dr. Crane deserved so much better. He is always so thoughtful and caring, always putting others needs before his own. He is so unselfish. He always was there with a shoulder to cry and lean on. He was such a very good friend to me whenever I needed one, like when I broke up with Joe or Rodney, or any of the others.

Earlier, I scolded and accused him for not professing his love for me sooner than tonight. I could hear the tremor in his voice when he did profess his love for me. He was so scared. He was scared that I'd hurt and reject him. Sadly, I guess that's just what I did.

But he tried-at least once before-at the Snowball-but only I wasn't listening, at least not with my heart.

It's almost dawn now, and soon me heart will beat just for one man and forever belong to Donald Ronald Douglas…

and the Broken Hearted…

I know it won't be easy, I pleaded, okay, groveled.

No.

I tried to explain from my heart and from first hand knowledge that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life thinking about a chance she didn't take.

No.

No, I don't think I can. I do love you…I do love you…I do love you…no…no…no…

I am exhausted (crying can do that to you), and was broken hearted until I realized it was much better to be heartless (for pain ceases to exist). No, and with sincerest apologies to Tony Bennett (I think that's his name. Dad had him playing in his car the other day), I didn't leave my heart in San Francisco, but instead, gave it way, and left it to die at a Wayside Inn balcony.

Time for some self honesty and reflection here (What can I say? I am a shrink, even if I'm not a big time radio host).

Daphne…Daphne…Daphne…there was a time in my life I thought that I never could stop loving you. Delusional? Perhaps. But maybe it was out of hope that someday you would notice me, like I had noticed you.

From the first day I laid my eyes on you, you unknowingly cast a spell on me that no woman ever had, or ever will.

Even now, when I know that you share my love and can't, won't (does it really matter which one?) return it, it hurts just as much (if not more) since now it's become "unrequited". It was Somerset Maugham who so eloquently said what I feel tonight-"Love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned".

I have longed for, dreamt about, loved you from afar for so many years… and now, somehow, I have to learn how to stop loving you. Truth be told Daphne, I don't think I'll ever stop, or be able to. But I love you so much Daphne that I will, no matter how much it hurts me, because you deserve to be happy.

When I think about your upcoming nuptials, I know that I won't be able to handle it well, having to sit there and, quote/unquote, act to be happy for you. Remember the Snowball a few years back? You had complimented me on (what you thought they were at the time anyway) my acting skills, but now, as you are probably acutely aware, I was doing anything but…

All I can do this time is rend my garments and start wailing, much like I did when I was a little boy when Frasier scratched my Aida record.

Sadly, I stumble (maybe it was due to that last bottle of wine) my way out of the garden (where the wedding will be held in a mere few hours) and I make my way over to the wishing well.

I dig in my coat pocket for a penny, upon finding one-ironically it's from 1993, the year we met. I flip it in. I close my bloodshot and sleep deprived eyes and make my wish.

I open them several moments later. The sun will be coming up soon, and with it, the soon to be Mrs. Ronald Donald Douglas.

There's Dad's Winnebago in the parking lot. Think I'll grab a long shower and a much-needed nap. Maybe if I'm lucky, the wedding will be over by the time I wake up.

With my head down and defeated, I start making my way over. I glance back over my shoulder one last time to look at the balcony and the room next to it (both of which are becoming blurry since the tears have returned)…I turn on my heel and say,

Good bye, Daphne.

My Love.


End file.
